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I dug my own grave

I always have dreams almost every night (falling or jumping from high places, losing all my teeth,  dreaming of being late at school, etc) but this dream is different. It's like I’m aware I’m dreaming but there’s nothing I can do to wake up or to make it stop. I was 15 or 16 at the time. I was in a boarding house near my school and I have 4 roommates. The 4 of us share the same room, the room has 2 bunk beds. We have our own restroom and a kitchen. For 4 - 5 days I keep on dreaming of my college Professor whom I dislike. He is so bossy and loves to order us around to do things that are not school related. In my dream, he’s shouting at me and ordering me to carry different things. On the first night, I was carrying a lot of books. Next night I was carrying garden tools like a shovel, watering can, gloves, and plant seeds. This continued for 2 - 3 nights and every time I woke up my arms hurt and they were shaking as if I carried heavy stuff. I am so confused why am I dreaming of him!

Common Mistake(Short Poem)

I want to think something productive and yet... once the idea enters my mind it vanish change to something hopeless than romantic. My mood swings from delighted to disgusted, Disgusted that I can't even find something nice about myself. I sat in the corner,  wondering why I'm alone and all of these people  are with someone. Am I not special to be with? from a simple question, it became a wild imagination. From imagination to a realization,  "I am not good enough" from a realization of an idea without  any validation, results... to quick devastation of  a fragile mind thinking that she's useless and unworthy. All the time that passes by became wasted, instead of living life to fullness, it became a burden that empties every day. instead of finding a way out started whining on how unfair the world is. Then one day, this person came. smiles and keep on working to find a way out instead of