I dug my own grave

I always have dreams almost every night (falling or jumping from high places, losing all my teeth,  dreaming of being late at school, etc) but this dream is different. It's like I’m aware I’m dreaming but there’s nothing I can do to wake up or to make it stop.

I was 15 or 16 at the time. I was in a boarding house near my school and I have 4 roommates. The 4 of us share the same room, the room has 2 bunk beds. We have our own restroom and a kitchen.

For 4 - 5 days I keep on dreaming of my college Professor whom I dislike. He is so bossy and loves to order us around to do things that are not school related.

In my dream, he’s shouting at me and ordering me to carry different things.

On the first night, I was carrying a lot of books. Next night I was carrying garden tools like a shovel, watering can, gloves, and plant seeds.

This continued for 2 - 3 nights and every time I woke up my arms hurt and they were shaking as if I carried heavy stuff. I am so confused why am I dreaming of him!?!

On the 4th night he ordered me to dig. He kept shouting, dig deeper! I want it to be deeper. I kept on digging.

The next thing I knew I was standing in front of the hole that I dug, I felt so scared looking at it.

There's a part of me that wants to run away, the other part of me wants to jump on the hole.

Then I heard a loud thud. Suddenly I’m  awake feeling uneasy as if I never slept.

I saw one of my roommates sitting on her bed while reading a book. I asked her what caused the loud thud. She looked at me with a confusion on her face.

What loud thud are you talking about? She asks.

Nothing.  I replied. (I just brush it off and thought that I'm just stress because of the upcoming midterms)

On the 5th night, everything that happened within the last 4 days happened again. The books, garden tools, the digging. Me looking at hole that I dug (I know I am dreaming and I want to wake up but I don’t know how!!!).

While I stood in front of the hole I felt that someone or something was looking at me. As I turned to look behind me I saw my Professor is holding the shovel suddenly he hit me in the head with it. (I heard a loud thud as the shovel hit my head the same sound I heard the night before.)

I opened my eyes and saw the ceiling of my room. My heart was trembling, my hands were shaking and my head hurt so bad.  (I think I just died in that dream) Let’s just say I did not attend school that day.

I'm still confused up to this day if it's a dream, stress, overthinking or possibly I'm sleep walking. If its a dream why do I remember it clear and why did I feel the things that happened in my dream.

-----I guess I'll never know.