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I dug my own grave

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I always have dreams almost every night (falling or jumping from high places, losing all my teeth,  dreaming of being late at school, etc) but this dream is different. It's like I’m aware I’m dreaming but there’s nothing I can do to wake up or to make it stop. I was 15 or 16 at the time. I was in a boarding house near my school and I have 4 roommates. The 4 of us share the same room, the room has 2 bunk beds. We have our own restroom and a kitchen. For 4 - 5 days I keep on dreaming of my college Professor whom I dislike. He is so bossy and loves to order us around to do things that are not school related. In my dream, he’s shouting at me and ordering me to carry different things. On the first night, I was carrying a lot of books. Next night I was carrying garden tools like a shovel, watering can, gloves, and plant seeds. This continued for 2 - 3 nights and every time I woke up my arms hurt and they were shaking as if I carried heavy stuff. I am so confused why am I dreaming of him!
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Untitle#1 (Short Poem)

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Whenever I open my social media

I become sadder than what I’m supposed to be.


Not because I’m jealous of what my friends had become but

because what I am right now feeling alone, cold, and worthless

even I have what they had, experience what they

experienced.


Laugh and love harder than they do.

It just so happened that I am not showy just like them.


I rather eat the food that I ordered than to take pictures.


I rather experience the beauty of a place in my own eyes than to

waste my time taking videos.
 

But still, I feel sad and degraded


whenever I see those posts.







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