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I dug my own grave

I always have dreams almost every night (falling or jumping from high places, losing all my teeth,  dreaming of being late at school, etc) but this dream is different. It's like I’m aware I’m dreaming but there’s nothing I can do to wake up or to make it stop. I was 15 or 16 at the time. I was in a boarding house near my school and I have 4 roommates. The 4 of us share the same room, the room has 2 bunk beds. We have our own restroom and a kitchen. For 4 - 5 days I keep on dreaming of my college Professor whom I dislike. He is so bossy and loves to order us around to do things that are not school related. In my dream, he’s shouting at me and ordering me to carry different things. On the first night, I was carrying a lot of books. Next night I was carrying garden tools like a shovel, watering can, gloves, and plant seeds. This continued for 2 - 3 nights and every time I woke up my arms hurt and they were shaking as if I carried heavy stuff. I am so confused why am I dreaming of him!

I Pity Myself(Short Poem)


Sick for a week
now I am broke
and all the people
even the closest ones
doesn't believe.

They kept on cracking a joke
that I'm on vacation
provided them a proof
that I'm ill and unfit to work
and still, they put it to question.

I tried to ask a few of my friends
if  they can lend me some change,
just got five rejections in just half day
I provided them money whenever
they are in need and now I'm the one asking
they are unable to give,

I don't know if it's just the lack of resources
or helping me is not they're concern.
At least right now I know what color
they were, I will not be deceived with the same trick.

Now I am hoping  for the best and
expecting the worst and whichever comes first,
I'll be ready for it. Already at the rock bottom
used my last card and the only way for me to go
is to step up and reach the top.

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