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I dug my own grave

I always have dreams almost every night (falling or jumping from high places, losing all my teeth,  dreaming of being late at school, etc) but this dream is different. It's like I’m aware I’m dreaming but there’s nothing I can do to wake up or to make it stop. I was 15 or 16 at the time. I was in a boarding house near my school and I have 4 roommates. The 4 of us share the same room, the room has 2 bunk beds. We have our own restroom and a kitchen. For 4 - 5 days I keep on dreaming of my college Professor whom I dislike. He is so bossy and loves to order us around to do things that are not school related. In my dream, he’s shouting at me and ordering me to carry different things. On the first night, I was carrying a lot of books. Next night I was carrying garden tools like a shovel, watering can, gloves, and plant seeds. This continued for 2 - 3 nights and every time I woke up my arms hurt and they were shaking as if I carried heavy stuff. I am so confused why am I dreaming of him!

Untitled #2 (Short Poem)

Unhappy

Useless

Despicable

I can't make myself happy

when a lot of things can make you one

I wanna cry because it makes me feel better.


Lots of thought in mind but still ends

with a question why? Why do I feel this way?

Why do I think this way?


Why? Do I feel this sorrow known as failure

when I already got what I dreamed of...
(at the end you just need to show a smile even it hurts a lot)


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