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I dug my own grave

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I always have dreams almost every night (falling or jumping from high places, losing all my teeth,  dreaming of being late at school, etc) but this dream is different. It's like I’m aware I’m dreaming but there’s nothing I can do to wake up or to make it stop. I was 15 or 16 at the time. I was in a boarding house near my school and I have 4 roommates. The 4 of us share the same room, the room has 2 bunk beds. We have our own restroom and a kitchen. For 4 - 5 days I keep on dreaming of my college Professor whom I dislike. He is so bossy and loves to order us around to do things that are not school related. In my dream, he’s shouting at me and ordering me to carry different things. On the first night, I was carrying a lot of books. Next night I was carrying garden tools like a shovel, watering can, gloves, and plant seeds. This continued for 2 - 3 nights and every time I woke up my arms hurt and they were shaking as if I carried heavy stuff. I am so confused why am I dreaming of him!
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Enough(Short Poem)

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A 'no' is a 'no' when the word came from you
Everything that I see is lies when you tell me to
Things don't exist unless you say they do.

You say friends are trouble because they say things about you
Can't wear this, can't wear that 
Can't say no, can't say stop

I obey, I always say yes
I follow the commands - Yes! I follow your commands.

Can't think on my own, 
Can't moved, can't do anything
coz' orders must be followed 
or else I'm in trouble

Punishment must be it
Strikes on the leg
Lashes on the back
Bruises on the arm
Profanity during clash

All neglected duties must be punished
But enough is enough,
with a small drop, things will change
with one drink
and it will all end.



This is dedicated to my abusive ex, the small drop symbolizes LOVE and one drink symbolizes COURAGE. When I realized it's too much to handle I learned to love myself and it gave me the courage to end our relationship. 


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