Posts

Showing posts from 2017

Most recent

I dug my own grave

I always have dreams almost every night (falling or jumping from high places, losing all my teeth,  dreaming of being late at school, etc) but this dream is different. It's like I’m aware I’m dreaming but there’s nothing I can do to wake up or to make it stop. I was 15 or 16 at the time. I was in a boarding house near my school and I have 4 roommates. The 4 of us share the same room, the room has 2 bunk beds. We have our own restroom and a kitchen. For 4 - 5 days I keep on dreaming of my college Professor whom I dislike. He is so bossy and loves to order us around to do things that are not school related. In my dream, he’s shouting at me and ordering me to carry different things. On the first night, I was carrying a lot of books. Next night I was carrying garden tools like a shovel, watering can, gloves, and plant seeds. This continued for 2 - 3 nights and every time I woke up my arms hurt and they were shaking as if I carried heavy stuff. I am so confused why am I dreaming of him!

Common Mistake(Short Poem)

I want to think something productive and yet... once the idea enters my mind it vanish change to something hopeless than romantic. My mood swings from delighted to disgusted, Disgusted that I can't even find something nice about myself. I sat in the corner,  wondering why I'm alone and all of these people  are with someone. Am I not special to be with? from a simple question, it became a wild imagination. From imagination to a realization,  "I am not good enough" from a realization of an idea without  any validation, results... to quick devastation of  a fragile mind thinking that she's useless and unworthy. All the time that passes by became wasted, instead of living life to fullness, it became a burden that empties every day. instead of finding a way out started whining on how unfair the world is. Then one day, this person came. smiles and keep on working to find a way out instead of

No worries I believe you(Short Poem)

I know you remember the time when I am ill you kept on joking that I'm faking it... I am furious deep down inside but I just smiled and laugh with you Right now your on the same place on where I was, No worries I will not jest I will just look at you dead in the eye and say "I hope you're fine"...  Because karma is a bitch it will hit you hard and you'll fall harder than those  you mock. I will let you feel sorry for yourself and will keep on saying whenever you tell stories about what happened NO WORRIES, I BELIEVE YOU

I Pity Myself(Short Poem)

Sick for a week now I am broke and all the people even the closest ones doesn't believe. They kept on cracking a joke that I'm on vacation provided them a proof that I'm ill and unfit to work and still, they put it to question. I tried to ask a few of my friends if  they can lend me some change, just got five rejections in just half day I provided them money whenever they are in need and now I'm the one asking they are unable to give, I don't know if it's just the lack of resources or helping me is not they're concern. At least right now I know what color they were, I will not be deceived with the same trick. Now I am hoping  for the best and expecting the worst and whichever comes first, I'll be ready for it. Already at the rock bottom used my last card and the only way for me to go is to step up and reach the top.

Don't be late (Short Poem)

Image
Need to get up Need to move fast The time is running swiftly! Already late for the success aiming to obtain... All of my running mates are already halfway and  here I stand thinking twice and thrice whether  to move forward or step backward... Already late.... already shaken terrified and pressured on what the crowd will say... still on the start-up not knowing what to do... Yet... It's better to be here than to be off track x

Now you hear me whine(Short Poem)

Image
I have food to eat cloths to wear. People to cherish  and a home to live in but still... I have this longing... I want to do something. I want to be somebody I want to go somewhere BUT  I don't have any idea, what? how? and where? I want to explore and be a different thing  something important... something useful... I want to rage and be anything, I want to be and yet...  my life has no direction no specific reason on why I am here and I can't find the answer as if I'm glued on a bottomless pit

Cowardly Brave(Short Poem)

Image
Face everything that scares and hurts you. coz even you try to run and hide they will still get you... Face it once and it's gone,  run and hide no matter how hard you try  it will eventually corner you.  And guess what?  the faster you run the harder you stumble  In the end...  The truth will definitely hurt  but it will end your agony and will make you stronger than you'll ever be... Most of the time, things that can destroy you will make you tougher People that you trust will betray and leave you. Things that you have will be taken away from you. Face it and end it now!

Untitled #2 (Short Poem)

Image
Unhappy Useless Despicable I can't make myself happy when a lot of things can make you one I wanna cry because it makes me feel better. Lots of thought in mind but still ends with a question why? Why do I feel this way? Why do I think this way? Why? Do I feel this sorrow known as failure when I already got what I dreamed of... (at the end you just need to show a smile even it hurts a lot) x

Untitle#1 (Short Poem)

Image
Whenever I open my social media I become sadder than what I’m supposed to be. Not because I’m jealous of what my friends had become but because what I am right now feeling alone, cold, and worthless even I have what they had, experience what they experienced. Laugh and love harder than they do. It just so happened that I am not showy just like them. I rather eat the food that I ordered than to take pictures. I rather experience the beauty of a place in my own eyes than to waste my time taking videos.   But still, I feel sad and degraded whenever I see those posts.