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I dug my own grave

I always have dreams almost every night (falling or jumping from high places, losing all my teeth,  dreaming of being late at school, etc) but this dream is different. It's like I’m aware I’m dreaming but there’s nothing I can do to wake up or to make it stop. I was 15 or 16 at the time. I was in a boarding house near my school and I have 4 roommates. The 4 of us share the same room, the room has 2 bunk beds. We have our own restroom and a kitchen. For 4 - 5 days I keep on dreaming of my college Professor whom I dislike. He is so bossy and loves to order us around to do things that are not school related. In my dream, he’s shouting at me and ordering me to carry different things. On the first night, I was carrying a lot of books. Next night I was carrying garden tools like a shovel, watering can, gloves, and plant seeds. This continued for 2 - 3 nights and every time I woke up my arms hurt and they were shaking as if I carried heavy stuff. I am so confused why am I dreaming of him!

Part 1: A roller coaster ride with Covid on the side

I had this blog for a while but this is the first time I’m going to share something about my personal life. As we all know, everyone is affected by the ongoing pandemic. But the story I’m going to share is not about that - ish.

It’s about what I experienced last month, April 2020. It all started when I got a monthly period --- nothing new about that. What's strange is that it took more than 10 days than the usual 5 - 7 days and the cramps I’m experiencing are getting worse everyday.



On the 11th day of my bleeding, my live-in partner insisted on going to the hospital. After several hours of convincing I finally agreed to him. I promise him we’ll go tomorrow morning (April 22, 2020) -- since it's already 7pm at the time (we don’t have a car) and due to Covid-19 we have a curfew of 8pm.

In the morning we posted a car request on a Facebook page --- and it’s so expensive 3x the usual price but it’s okay everyone needs ways to get money since everything was closed.

We arrived at the hospital around 10am and my live-in partner asked the driver to drop us off at the ER instead of the hospital lobby. Before we get inside a nurse wearing PPE (Personal protective equipment)  will ask several questions such as:

Have you traveled to China, Japan, Korea or any country affected by Covid-19 in the past 14days?

Do you have a cough, cold, fever?

Have you been in contact with a person under PUI/PUM (person under investigation/person under monitoring)?


They also checked my temperature, heartbeat, and blood pressure. After that they let us inside the ER lobby where all personnel are wearing PPE’s --- and I’ve never been scared when I saw them (on my mind this pandemic is really #$%^ scary. They remind me of fictional films that I used to watch, story plots about outbreaks wiping humanity.)

I looked at Levin (my live-in partner) in my mind -- If I get Covid-19 I will surely blame him for convincing me to go to the hospital. 

When we got inside the ER lobby a nurse asked me the same question about recent travel to other countries, recent fever, etc.

To cut the story short, I’ve told the nurse about my bleeding issue and I was advised that an OB needs to check me further. Due to the pandemic doctors don’t have clinic hours so I was refer to the DR (Delivery Room) but before I was sent there they called a doctor on the phone and mentioned that the HMO (health card) might not cover the bill/procedure because I’m possibly having a miscarriage at the moment. ---- I was like whaaaaat!?

As per the doctor it will cost a lot of money so before they let us go to the DR she made sure that we have the money. (Seriously, we don’t have the money).

What I did was walk out of the ER lobby and bought an ice cream and bread at a convenience store nearby --- I’m stressed out! I possibly have a dead creature inside me. I have a health card with a 500k limit and I can’t even use it. Levin kept insisting to tell my mother of the scenario so we can borrow money from her --- that’s not happening!.

Then he remembered that we have a credit card that we can use. We went back to the ER immediately to ask if we could pay using a credit card. Fortunately, we can. I was still eating my ice cream while waiting for the nurse that will take us to the DR when suddenly a guard told us to wear our face mask because a patient will be escorted to the other room across the hallway and it's a Covid-19 positive. When I heard that I got chills and lost the appetite to continue eating.

Fast forward, we are escorted to the DR lobby, before we can enter I need to be examined with X-rays. To make sure I don’t have Pneumonia which is a Covid related thing. Once cleared I was sent inside and Levin was waiting in the lobby. This journey took 6hours, I had Gyne test, Ultrasound, Blood test to check if I’m pregnant. Luckily, I’m not --- No one died inside me.

The diagnosis was a bulky cervix the doctor gave 2 options. First, a biopsy that will cost a lot of money. Second, is medicine --- and yes, I chose the medicine.

Then came the bill, it was 15k. I felt so powerless and just sat down while waiting for Levin to pay using our credit card.

It’s almost 7:00pm when we got out. We called the same driver to pick us up and we arrived home around 7:30pm. Before the 8:00pm curfew Levin went out to buy the medicine and our dinner.

After 24 hours…

The 11days bleeding stops.

Finally that nightmare ended or did it?

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