Part 3: The cut

Part 2
Part 1


It’s 10:15pm, I was laying on the bed while the nurse was pushing my bed towards the Operating room. My heartbeat is racing, I’m not sure if I’m scared or excited about this incident. 

I can’t stop thinking is this it?

Is this the end?

What will happen to me after this? 

I’ve been on sick leave (SL) for more than a week and after the surgery will surely extend for several more weeks and I only have 16 VL/SL left. I’m thinking will my health card cover this procedure? Or I’ll need to ask for money from my mom? Too many questions that I can’t answer, all I can do is cry.

Soon we arrived in the operating room. The moment I entered the room everything was in slow motion the anesthesiologist was talking to me but I’m having difficulty in understanding. The next thing I know I was given spinal anesthesia. ----I thought it would hurt a lot but wooooh! it did not. 

The next thing I know was waking up with an oxygen mask and brown stain on my patient's gown. I began moving and a nurse approached me and tried to fix the oxygen mask on my face. Then he asks me can you move your feet? I tried to move my feet but I can’t feel them. --- I heard a soft voice in the background (I think the anesthesia is wearing off, she can move her feet)

I tried to look at my surroundings but my head feels woozy. After a few minutes, I fell asleep again and woke up in my room. 

Levin was there waiting for me. I can’t still think quite clearly, I’m just looking at him without saying any words, I just closed my eyes and rested. 

After a few hours, I was awoken by a nurse injecting medicine on my IV and it hurts so much. It stings so bad and my mouth tastes bitter. 

The next day when I’m starting to process everything. Levin sat beside my bed, asking how I feel --- the only thing I was able to say was poo-poo pee poo (Yeah, I just said that to my boyfriend. The only thing I remember that time was feeling the eagerness to go to the CR to unload.)

Luckily Levin understood what I meant and he helped me to stand up and guide me to the restroom. 

Going to the restroom was hard -- First of all, I have a lot of things hanging on me. Aside from the IV, I have a catheter, Jackson-Pratt drain that looks like a plastic grenade and a painkiller attached to my hand but a separate bag than my IV. I have a lot of difficulties but the worst one is I can’t even wash my own butt, I was so lucky that Levin was open heartedly helped me. Weirdly enough he seems to enjoy it.

After that embarrassing moment, Levin and my sister insist on telling my mom about everything that had happened to me and my current situation. I really don't want to tell my mom coz I'm sure she will overthink and will have difficulty sleeping.

Also, she's already been overthinking about her younger sister (cancer patient) being a COVID positive and now on self-quarantine. I don't want to be part of it but I still need to tell her that's the best way to go.

I video called her through her Facebook messenger and she looks so happy because I don't usually call. I actually don't know how to tell her so I just showed her my IVs. I can see on her face that she's worried about me. Seeing her face like that makes me want to cry but I hold the tears I need to show that I'm strong.

To stop her from worrying so much I told her that its just appendicitis and the surgery was already done. My mom just said you should have told me.

Note: My mom has 4 children and I'm the third one to have Appendicitis.