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I dug my own grave

I always have dreams almost every night (falling or jumping from high places, losing all my teeth,  dreaming of being late at school, etc) but this dream is different. It's like I’m aware I’m dreaming but there’s nothing I can do to wake up or to make it stop. I was 15 or 16 at the time. I was in a boarding house near my school and I have 4 roommates. The 4 of us share the same room, the room has 2 bunk beds. We have our own restroom and a kitchen. For 4 - 5 days I keep on dreaming of my college Professor whom I dislike. He is so bossy and loves to order us around to do things that are not school related. In my dream, he’s shouting at me and ordering me to carry different things. On the first night, I was carrying a lot of books. Next night I was carrying garden tools like a shovel, watering can, gloves, and plant seeds. This continued for 2 - 3 nights and every time I woke up my arms hurt and they were shaking as if I carried heavy stuff. I am so confused why am I dreaming of him!

Part 4: Long journey to recovery

Previously...


I thought the first day of waking up after the surgery was the worst part of it but it's not the worst part is the next day where they removed the painkiller bag attached to my IV.


I can now feel 3x the pain. I'm having a lot of difficulties laughing, coughing, sneezing, sitting, standing, and walking. Feels like being 80 years old in your mid-20's. To make everything worse I still have diarrhea. I feel so weak, I still feel chills every now and then.


After almost 48 hours, I can finally drink and enjoy my first meal consists of water, soup, tea, and gelatin.



Finishing the meal is hard to accomplish given that I'm a person who loves eating. As per the nurse, my appetite will take a week to return but no need to hurry up.

What's important is there are no complications. To make sure there's no infection they always check Jackson-Pratt_drain and I'm also given 2 kinds of anti-biotic that sting whenever injected. One anti-biotic 6ml every 8 hours and the other was 12ml every 12hours. 

I always cry when I was given the 12ml anti-biotic, I can feel my veins throbbing.

The only thing I can do to stop the pain that I'm feeling is to sleep. Most of the time interrupted by the nurses that doing their rounds every 2 hours.

Check vital (BP, heartbeat, and temperature) still having fever after the surgery which is not good because this means there's a possibility of infection. 

They also made sure to empty the catheter and Jackson-Pratt drainOn Day 2, I started eating normal food. Like fried chicken and vegetables. 

Different doctors started to visit:

  • Resident doctor
  • Head doctor (the one that performs the surgery)
  • OB-GYN
  • Hematologist (for my anemia)
On day 3 of my meds, my left arm swells, and my veins are aching. 

The nurse moves the IV on my right but while she was injecting the IV my vein burst and blood came out. She immediately called for a senior nurse to locate another vein to put the IV (worst comes to worst the IV will be put on my neck). 

Luckily, the senior nurse was able to find another vein. I can still feel the pain and swell on my left hand. 

On day 4, My catheter was removed I can now move a little better. The summary of the bill was sent to us afterward, it's more than ₱75,000 (surgery and doctors fee not included), I felt so uneasy because I'm still not sure if the health card will cover everything. Levin assured me that everything will be okay and I'm thankful that he's with me even though most of the time he makes fun of me. -- He tries to make jokes that made me laugh but laughing is hard for me. I think that's his way of showing his love.

On day 5, Jackson-Pratt drain and all of my IV's were removed. Jackson-pratt removal hurts so much, I was shouting as if I'm on labor while it was being removed. It's like that rubber tubes are wrap around my intestines, the most painful thing I felt in my entire life. I know I have a high pain tolerance but that just %#$#^^$ hurt. 

Later that day we were advised that if my red blood cell count is back to normal I can go home the next day.

On day 6, I was released from the hospital --- Finally, I'm still worried about the bill though. 

The nurse delivered the bill, Levin took it and opened it, his looking at me with devastation on his face. I started shouting give it to me, give it to me.

He handed it to me and my hospital bill was ₱203,000. --- I was like, what the F! Where am I going to get the money to pay for that. I only have 12k on hand, 22k combine plus what's ever left on my credit card.

We are just looking at each other for several minutes then Levin went to the cashier to check how much the health card and PhilHealth will cover. 

I waited in my room and it feels like forever. After 30 minutes he went back and showed me the new bill Philhealth covered 25k the health card took care of 178k. We only paid 260.40. --- Woooh, that's a huge relief. 

Everything was settled and we are ready to go home. I'm feeling good and volunteered to walk and I immediately regret it. After walking for 1 min, I felt so tired, my feet and legs hurt.

I was pushed out in the hospital in a wheelchair. The car was already outside waiting, it was a bumpy ride, I definitely did not enjoy it, my insides are shaken. 

After 1 week, we went back to the hospital for the removal of my surgical staples. I thought it will hurt, fortunately it did not.

Right now, I just finished my first month of recovery and my workmates sent me a fruit basket and get well soon cake. --- it's a bit late but Nah I appreciate it a lot. I almost cried when I saw it. 


From time to time I experience sudden stabbing pain. I'm still under medication for anemia and I have a follow-up check-up with my OB-GYN. 

Also, the scar looks like a centipede. Physically, I must say I'm on 90% recovery but psychologically it's a different story.



End----



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