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I dug my own grave

I always have dreams almost every night (falling or jumping from high places, losing all my teeth,  dreaming of being late at school, etc) but this dream is different. It's like I’m aware I’m dreaming but there’s nothing I can do to wake up or to make it stop. I was 15 or 16 at the time. I was in a boarding house near my school and I have 4 roommates. The 4 of us share the same room, the room has 2 bunk beds. We have our own restroom and a kitchen. For 4 - 5 days I keep on dreaming of my college Professor whom I dislike. He is so bossy and loves to order us around to do things that are not school related. In my dream, he’s shouting at me and ordering me to carry different things. On the first night, I was carrying a lot of books. Next night I was carrying garden tools like a shovel, watering can, gloves, and plant seeds. This continued for 2 - 3 nights and every time I woke up my arms hurt and they were shaking as if I carried heavy stuff. I am so confused why am I dreaming of him!

Crab Mentality

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Have you ever heard of crab mentality ? Yes - you read it right! We are not going to talk about crustaceans or any creature of the sea. What we are going to talk about is a common behavior on our society, popular with the saying "If I can't have it, neither can you". This refers to a short story of a bucket full of crabs. Instead the crab help lift one another to escape the bucket what they do is to pull the crab on top of them." - Familiar with this scenario? Well, you should be because this happens most of the time. Crab mentality is a faceless enemy it can be anyone, random people, office mates, colleagues and the scariest are the one closest to you like friends, relatives, family members and even yourself.   Here are some tips on how to deal with people with crab mentality 1. Let your success speak for itself. Most of the time, people with crab mentality prey on the hardworking individuals who truly deserve their success. Although untrut

What is mistrust?

If you search the meaning through a dictionary it will provide you “doubt about someone's honesty “. Most likely it’s from trusting too much and being left behind, sharing secrets to someone and that person gossip it behind your back. Loving a person and being cheated. Below are open letters from friends that experience being disappointed that leads to mistrust or to have trust issues.  Olivia “My boyfriend of 3 years had an affair with my best friend when I got confined in the hospital for a month, I never felt so confused in my life. Having trouble on how to look at them in the face whenever we are on the same elevator coz we are working on the same company. I ended up blocking them in all social media, to avoid seeing their photos together. FYI – they didn’t even apologized for what had happened. After several months I resign and move on with my life to meet other people and to help myself to have a break. Until now having issues trusting people - Can you blame me?” John

High functioning anxiety

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High functioning anxiety is not a recognized mental health diagnosis. Rather, it's evolved as a catch-all term that refers to people who live with anxiety, but who identify themselves as functioning reasonably well in different aspects of their life. If you have high functioning anxiety, you probably notice that your anxiety propels you forward rather than leaves you frozen in fear. On the surface, you likely appear to be successful, together, and calm—the typical Type A personality who excels at work and in life—though the way you actually feel on the inside may be very different. Someone with high functioning anxiety may be the picture of success. You might arrive to work earlier than everyone else, impeccably dressed, with your hair neatly styled. Coworkers may know you as driven in your work—you've never missed a deadline or fallen short in a given task. Not only that, you're always willing to help others when asked. What's more, your social sche

How does anxiety develop?

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Based on the research of Alvarado Parkway Institute behavioral health system Anxiety disorders are forged over years of experiences. In fact, any experience you’ve ever had can cause an anxiety disorder. And, despite how common they are, the specific causes of this mental illness are still unknown. What studies do show, though, is that anxiety disorders appear to run in families. However, as with most mental illnesses, researchers believe anxiety is caused by more than just genetics. Anxiety disorders likely develop from a complex set of risk factors including brain chemistry, personality, and life events. Less commonly, medical conditions are known to cause anxiety disorders. Heart disease, diabetes, seizures, thyroid problems, asthma, drug abuse and withdrawal, rare tumors that produce certain “fight or flight” hormones, and muscle cramps or spasms are all possible medical causes of anxiety. Most anxiety disorders develop in childhood and young adulthood. Therefore, if an anxiety d

Facts about Anxiety

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Anxiety is a general term for several disorders that cause nervousness, fear, apprehension, and worrying. These disorders affect how we feel and behave and can cause physical symptoms. Other symptoms include muscle tension, headaches, and insomnia. Frequent panic attacks can cause you to fear the anxiety attacks themselves, thereby increasing overall anxiety. The constant state of stress can lead to clinical depression. As per ADAA you can try these when you're feeling anxious or stressed: Take a time-out.  Eat well-balanced meals. ...  Limit alcohol and caffeine, which can aggravate anxiety and trigger panic attacks.  Get enough sleep. ...  Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health. ...  Take deep breaths. ...  Count to 10 slowly. ...  Do your best.  Accept that you cannot control everything.  Welcome humor  Maintain positive attitude in life  Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active  Distract yourself it’s more fun to exer

Insomnia (Short Poem)

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Sleepless nights, endless thoughts  Wandering mind on how tomorrow will go Counting sheep, from one to none. Beating heart, my pulse at peace  finally a good night sleep ticking clock, waking me up then a flashing light, in the corner of the window in a split second I'm wide awake than ever. The same process goes,  too tired to get up I want to sleep My eyes are tired and teary hands are numb and shaky. Lights are all gone the only thing present is the clock in the corner. Kept on ticking  as if it's breathing too weary to count sheep As I close my eyes the clock alarms and it's already time to get up. Feeling uneasy my body is so heavy my eyes are not ready. Rewind 'till next night.

Crush(Short Poem)

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A simple glimpse completes a day A smile, even it meant for someone leaves my heart trembling in suspense In a close distance, I began to blush Just like a ripe berry ready to be farmed. With one hello, I was left speechless heart-stopping, mouth-watering voice stuttering, eyes wide open. Processing the event if it did happen  with one-touch, felt like cloud nine on a foggy night. Why can't it be you and I? Instead of you and her. Stars are colliding the time is moving,  everything is set but why is it not working?  This is dedicated to my gay friend for always being in love but ended up being  friendzone  

Enough(Short Poem)

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A 'no' is a 'no' when the word came from you Everything that I see is lies when you tell me to Things don't exist unless you say they do. You say friends are trouble because they say things about you Can't wear this, can't wear that  Can't say no, can't say stop I obey, I always say yes I follow the commands - Yes! I follow your commands. Can't think on my own,  Can't moved, can't do anything coz' orders must be followed  or else I'm in trouble Punishment must be it Strikes on the leg Lashes on the back Bruises on the arm Profanity during clash All neglected duties must be punished But enough is enough, with a small drop, things will change with one drink and it will all end. This is dedicated to my abusive ex, the small drop symbolizes LOVE and one drink symbolizes COURAGE. When I realized it's too much to handle I learned to love myself and it gave me the courage t

I am me!(Short Poem)

I am not a toy to play with I am not a floor to step on I am not a trash to put to waste I am a human being that feels I am a girl that's hurting  I am a sister who is giving I am not a game to win I am not a trophy to exhibit  Instead, I am a person to be loved and cherish. I am not a thing that needs to be fix I am a person that needs to be understood I am not an object to project I am a person that needs protection. I am not a mistake that needs to be corrected  I am a nobody that wants to be somebody I am not a dream - don't make me fill your reverie because I am real I am imperfect and I am me. 

Why me?(Short Poem)

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You've fallen in love once to a petite girl with straight hair. You are once loved, cherish, and was indeed promise of forever. You are the kindest, most loving  I ever met.  I fell and I was caught by your arms, in one split second I was in the safest place and the most romantic one.  Weeks have passed after meeting you.  I must say, I'm madly, deeply in love every day.  The day came you proposed, that you want to try the promise  of forever with me.  I was shocked and my heart palpitates continuously. As days go by with you, I felt I don't deserve you.  You are young, handsome and I was the total opposite of you but still, you kept on showing,  that I'm the only girl for you.  You are charming - no doubt. That's why being beside you makes me feel awkward at times. I want to be with you and away from you at the same time. Having you is the best and worst feeling of all. The best because I love you more than anyth